Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Loneliness

Which is an actual word :D





Today I officially decided


on my own accord


that I no longer need someone in my life.





Someone who has been a huge part of my life


is now going to basically no longer exist.


It is so weird thinking of what things have come to


But we can all only put up with so much


and try so hard.


We all have limits!





So I really don't blame myself.





I have great friends and don't need a constant negative influence hovering around.








Anyways this reminds me of a poem from a Nickelodeon show! "As Told By Ginger" was such a good cartoon!! :D I MISS THOSE DAYS!
This poem is suprisingly deep. [I changed the She to He]

He chose to walk alone
Though others wondered why
Refused to look before him,
Kept eyes cast upwards,
Towards the sky.

He didn't have companions
No need for earthly things.
Only wanted freedom,
From what he felt were
Puppet strings.

He longed to be a bird.
That he might fly away.
He pitied every blade of grass
For planted they would stay.

He longed to be a flame,
That brightly danced alone.
Felt jealous of the steam
That made the air its only home.

Some say he wished too hard.
Some say he wished too long.
But we awoke one autumn day
To find that he was gone.

The trees, they say stood witness.
The sky refused to tell.
But someone who had seen it said
The story played out well.

He spread his arms out wide.
Breathed in the break of dawn.
He just let go of all he held...


And then he was gone.

Man, that gives me CHILLS.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Memoryness~

You know,

looking at my own memories is depressing but,


looking at the pictures and memories of my friends, when THEY were happy


makes me happy :] I want more happy memories like that with people! GJP<3


Sunday, May 10, 2009

Uselessness, if That is a Word [First Real Post!]

So basically, I originally wrote like a page-long blog about my sexuality and my relationship status and stuff like that. But while I was reaching the end I realized that I didn't want to write about that at ALL. Instead I want people to know something.

Did you know that I am utterly useless? Do you find yourself gasping at that staement, ready to debate? Well just hold on a second and listen!

I am only "mediocre" in virtually every aspect of my life. let us take a look.
Sports: I play no sports whatsoever. the only sport I did play, tennis, I gave up.
Music: I play no instruments whatsoever. As for singing, I can't [although I still do :D].
Religion: I am kinda a terrible Christian.
Video Games/Computer Skills: Know nothing more than the average person.
School: I just get the work done.

The only thing that I've heard that I'm "good" at is my looks and style, supposedly. Great, so I am going to get through life just by looking good? I find it ironic that God has molded me to be the exact type of person I hate. I am, in essence, just eye candy. I have no substance, no special skills! And you want to know why? I completely lack drive. I do not have any determination to do anything whatsoever. Everything I start ends up unfinished.

Also, looking at everything in the world, I find myself only completely passionate about one thing that I never pursued, and it is now too late to do so. Whether I have any talent at it, I have no idea. One friend seems to think so, but the world doesn't.

But I have always been afraid of saying anything about it. And now, I fear it is way too late. Would I even want it as a career? Would I even be good enough? I don't know. Maybe it will always stay how it is, as a secret desire and regret from my teenage years and I'll end up working in a mediocre cubicle somewhere. But God...



I love to sing so much.

Well, well...


I never really wanted a blog but...
I think I'd prefer to use this to talk about about myself
and leave FB for stupid surface level stuff.

I hope anyone who reads my blog will enjoy it and learn about me!


Heh...creepy pic of me!!